Shingeki no Study!
by Ilikeeatingbread
Summary: A highschool AU where all of the Shingeki no Kyojin cast are in! Filled with sports, bananas, eyebrows, baking, reptiles, randomness, drama, romance?, normal high school life (lol no) and much more!
1. Chapter 1: Poor Auruo, poor bananas

Shingeki no Study!

.

.

(-Hange-)

.

.

Grinning widely at her friend, the bespectacled young brunette slammed the door of her overly stuffed locker.

"_Oh_, what did I just hear?"

"Auruo bit his tongue in his first class...It's true!" Petra replied, grinning back.

The two girls then proceeded to giggle loudly. (Or maybe it was just Hange.)

"SHUT UP! ACCIDENTS HAPPEN." Auruo interjected, his face crumpling in annoyance. "and the floor just happened to be slippery!"

"Yeah, continue your yammer, Auruo, whatever it was, it's pretty funny!" Hange said, slapping his back playfully. "No worries! I just hope that your tongue's fine."

"And on the first day of school..." Petra commented, shooting the teen a teasing look, then looking at Hange.

Hange smiled and did a thumbs up.

She was officially Petra's tutor when it came to sassing the crumpled paper. (Auruo)

"Shut up." He grumbled. "If you're not gonna," he smirked. "Then I guess I'll just have to take you to dinner to quiet you down."

Hange had to stifle a laugh when she saw how much Petra's face contorted (very much like Auruo's that didn't need anymore contorting as it was already contorted enough naturally) at the thought of dating him.

She grabbed her friend's hand and apologetically (sarcastically) looked at Auruo. "Sorry, Ruo, I think she want some time to decide for herself first, okay?"

He rolled his eyes. "Just to let something out, let me just tell you I've waited since last year and she still hasn't replied yet."

"Well look at the time!" Hange said, quickly pointing at her metal watch, "Looks like it's the next class already! Byeee~"

She began to drag the petrified Petra (how ironic) to the second class.

Lucky for her fiend they were classmates.

Oops.

She meant friend. Not fiend.

What the hell, brain?!

.

The next class was Speech, and Hange found it quite pleasant that many of her friends were there.

Moblita, Erwin, Mike, Gunther, Eld, Levi, Moblit (weird fellow, having a similar name as her other friend) , Auruo (not really pleasant but oh well, shit happens and he also happens to look like shit), and Petra.

Since the teacher wasn't there yet, she decided on trying to unpetrify the still petrified Petra.

Wow, she just invented a new tongue twister. Better tell it to Levi later even though he probably wouldn't be interested. That grumpy shortie.

"Heeeey, Petra, are you there?" She called, waving her hand in front of her. Her friend gibbered nonsense in response, gaining the attention of Eld, who was playing with his (fabulously) ponytailed hair.

"What's wrong with Petra?" He asked, straining his neck to take a good look at the petrified Petra, since he was seated behind her.

She shrugged and looked at Auruo to make sure he wasn't listening before telling him. "Crumpled paper scared her again."

"HANGE. STOP WITH THE NICKNAM-" Auruo yelled, interrupting himself by biting his tongue again, effectively snapping Petra out of her petrification in the process.

"Oopsie daisies! He heard me."

"SHIT MY TONGUE."

Poor Auruo...

.

"Class, my name is Nanaba. I will be your Speech teacher." Nanaba (banana), said, taking a chalk out of her chalk box and writing her name on the board. She looked at all of them with a serious expression. "You may ask some questions."

A raven haired girl, whom Hange speculated was Levi's relative, as they had the same poker face, raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"Ma'am, why are we freshmen grouped with the sophomores, juniors, and seniors here?"

Nanaba (banana) smiled. "Good question. The reason is that the Speech subject is very general."

"How so?"

"Because, all of you know how to talk, right? In this class, I will teach you all proper pronunciation, the art of writing speeches, and to pit it simply, widen your dick-tion."

_How ironic. _

Hange bit her lip in an attempt to avoid smiling and remain serious.

"Pfft. Marco. Dick-tion. She said diction wrong." A freshman with a buzz cut whispered to a freckled one.

Marco scratched the back of his head and smiled back sheepishly at the buzz cut freshie. "I know, Connie, but it's still wrong to laugh at one's accent."

"Anymore questions?"

Grinning, Connie raised his hand and stood up. "Ma'am, why does your name sound like banana?"

Cue the awkward silence and everyone joining Hange in trying to avoid laughing like an idiot.

Nanaba (banana) raised a brow dangerously at him. "What did you just say, mister?"

Connie coughed awkwardly, realizing that his joke was taken seriously and that nobody wanted to mess with the teacher by laughing. "I uh, asked why your name sounds like . Ma'am."

"Because," She (banana) glanced sternly at him. "My parents named me that way."

"Oh. Uh." Connie coughed awkwardly again, sitting down and shooting everyone (his friends) a how-dare-you-betray-me glare. "Thank you ma'am."

"...a pleasure..." She (banana~) continued staring at him sternly. "Watch your manners."

"Anymore questions?"

Excitedly, Hange shot up her hand in the air.

"You may ask."

"Ms. Bana-"

Nanaba's eyes twitched in annoyance.

Everyone coughed in held back laughter.

Hange cringed in fright (Of getting a bad conduct grade.)

"Ms. Nanaba! Sorry ma'am, my tongue slipped!"

"...fine. Proceed with your question."

"Do titans exist?" Hange asked eagerly, earning a mental groan from all of her friends.

Nanaba frowned.

"Do they?" She asked again, out of desperation.

"...no...And please refrain from asking questions off topic. Ask that question in science or history class."

This time it was her turn to frown "Thank you, ma'am." Smiling disappointedly at her teacher, she slunk back to her seat.

"Hange, really?" Levi whisper-deadpanned-groaned, face palming. "You're just, this desperate, aren't you?"

"It's not bad to be interested in titans." Hange whisper-argued. "Plus, I really do think they existed in the past!"

"Fine. Think whatever you want then, shitty glasses." He nonchalantly replied, shifting his attention and blankly looking at Nanaba (banana).

"Anymore?" The teacher asked.

"May I?" Erwin, ever the teacher's stony faced and extremely mature (plus his fabulous eyebrows, never forget them) pet, volunteered.

Nanaba (banana) smiled (ever so slightly) at him. "Well if it isn't Erwin Smith, the student council president. Of course you may."

"So all of us students in this room will be learning the same thing, I am correct?"

Nanaba (banana nabana) nodded. "Correct. Because when it comes to speech, We are all the same. It is just the difference in charisma, vocabulary, grammar, and tone that matters."

_Isn't that all of speech?_

"Yes, ma'am." Erwin agreed, sitting down.

"That is all?" Nanaba (banana wee~) questioned, looking slightly disappointed. Erwin nodded, without a single hint of nervousness in his face.

When it came to keeping one's composure, Erwin was the best among the best. Hange could bet that if the titans existed, Erwin would be one of the leaders of the Survey Corps, an organization of soldiers fighting for humanity that she had read about; and if he would lose an arm to those cool beasts, he would still keep his composure and tell the rest to move on, willing to sacrifice himself.

Which was so freaking epic.

"I will not be accepting any questions for now, as I will proceed to the next part of our meeting." Banana (Nanaba) said, grabbing the piece of chalk she left on the table and scribbling something on the board. "You will now, introduce yourself. I want everyone in my class to know each other, got it?"

"Indeed." Hange muttered, as the rest of the class yelled, "YES MA'AM." (excluding Levi, who just continued staring at the scribbling banana (Nanaba), bored.

"You there," Nanaba (banana) pointed to a green wide eyed brunette, who was busy having an all out glaring contest with another freshman. "Start first, go to the front of the class."

"Ugh, this is so middle school." She heard a boy, who looked very much like Auruo, grumble.

The brunette stood up from his chair reluctantly and trudged to the front of the room, where he just stood there, saying nothing.

"Well?" Banana (Nanaba) said, placing her hands on her hips. "We don't have all day."

"Uh, hi, I'm Eren Jeager. Nice to meet you." He then proceed to quickly return to his seat, but suddenly got stopped by Nanaba (Bananaaaaaa potatoooo).

"Hobbies? Favorite food? Color?" She asked monotonously and desperately, effectively (but unknowingly) creeping the hell out of the poor freshman. "TELL US."

"Fucking creepy. Really fucking creepy, man." Gunther mumbled, elbowing Hange to get her attention.

"Yeah." She agreed, shaking off the chill crawling up her spine.

"Tell us." Nanaba said again, shaking the frightened Eren by the shoulder. "TELL US, MISTER JAEGER."

"O-ok, ma'am." He stuttered, running to the front. "I play video games, I like food, and my favorite color is green?" He nervously looked at Nanaba (banana nabana bandanna Fontana~). She nodded stiffly in acceptance.

"Next." She (banani falalalani~) said nonchalantly, as if she didn't just creep out a student a while ago.

Levi's (assumed) relative stood up and mechanically went to the front. "Mikasa Ackerman. Hobbies, drawing, and following...someone... Favorite food, food. Color," she nuzzled the red scarf on her neck, a light blush forming on her cheeks. "Red."

Hange grinned as Mikasa returned to her seat.

Yup. That girl was Levi's relative indeed.

Mikasa Ackerman, that girl seemed to be infatuated with someone who gave her that scarf. Probably the brunette.

"Next."

A blond freshie stood up, but didn't move for his seat. "Armin Artlert. I read books, and study. I like food too. Uh, sorry ma'am. Favorite color, I guess... yellow?" he quickly sat down.

"I won't say next anymore, okay? its too repetitive." Nanaba commented, sitting down on her table.

_Wow, such a 'bad ass' teacher, not following the don't sit on the table rules._

Hange wasn't sure if her mind was being sarcastic or not on that...

The freckled freshman from a while ago stood up. "Uh, hello everyone, I'm Marco Bodt, please to meet you!" He smiled cheerfully at everyone. "I write poems as hobbies and I bake sometimes... I like the color, blue!" He chirped and sat down, earning smiles from the others.

Erwin stood up quietly.

"Erwin Smith. Good and talented at everything because he's the perfect student council president. He does gardening, athletics, eyebrow cultivation, and home Eco. Likes every color because each color is unique in its own way." Nanaba (ba. Na. Na.) said, before he could open his mouth. "You may sit down now."

"...yes...ma'am."

Next was a girl munching on...potato chips...during class...what...

Was that even allowed?

"The name's Sasha, Sasha Braus, I like to eat, I like anything related to potatoes but I like food altogether, I like golden brown. (You can guess why.)"

She then sat down, still munching loudly on her potato chips. Nanaba (potato) looked like she didn't mind, though.

_*cue the music*_

_This, teacher is badaaaaaasssss! This teacher is bad aaaaaaassssssssss! SHES WALKING ON BADAAAAASSSSSSS._

The semi-bald freshman was next.

"Connie Springer. I like eating, video games, and Sash- potatoes." he turned beet red and quickly sat down.

_Oh, how interesting_.

"Annie Leondhart." A bored looking blonde wearing a grey hoodie mumbled. She then sat down, looking even more bored as hell.

"B-berthodt Fubar..." A tall brunette awkwardly stood up, managing a small nervous smile before plopping down his chair.

"Reiner Braun. I do sports. I like beef. It tastes good, trust me. I am also not homo." A buff blonde said, grinning playfully at everyone. He gave Annie a intimidating wink.

Annie scoffed.

Bertholdht smiled shakily.

"Jean Kirchstein. I like video games. I enjoy following someone, i like junk food, and I dislike suicidal people." He shot a triumphant see-I-did-way-better-in-introducing-myself-than-you-muthaha look at Eren and casually sat down.

_I see two people here have stalker tendencies~ _

"I'm Daz-"

The bell suddenly rang, signaling that it was time for lunch. Hange looked at the clone of Auruo (Daz) sadly. Poor him, he didn't get to introduce himself. What a shame.

"Oh, it's lunch already? We'll continue this next time then, class, starting with you." Nanaba (bahamas) pointed at Hange, who was seated behind Daz.

"Yes, ma'am." She replied, grinning at the thought of eating lunch. After thinking of bananas for the whole class, she was starting to crave those little, crescent shaped, yellow fruits.

"You may leave for lunch now."

-continuation in the next chapter-

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE

OH AURUO, YOU POOR BABY... ;_; IM SO SORRY I BULLIED YOU THERE...

PEACE

ANYWAY, READERS, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS.

I KNOW I DID.

And this is my second fanfic, so please be gentle!

and

Please continue reading the next chapters!

thanks for reading!


	2. Baby food for lunch

2: What the Hell?! Baby food?!

Anyways! I reply to your fabulous comments! ;_; I'm crying...

YOU GUYS INSPIRE ME SO MUCH. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

my replies~

**Anon: thanks for telling me about Reiner! ^^ I'll be sure to do something about him! **

**BTW.**

** it's a gag to say he's homo Lol XD**

**Vale: YES. YES I WILL. ;) **

.

.

.

(-Eren-)

.

.

.

"You may leave for lunch now."

Hearing that, Eren desperately scrambled out of the classroom in search for a washroom.

HE HAD TO DO IT.

HE **HAD** TO DO IT.

HE DEFINITELY **HAD** TO DO IT.

**HE HAD TO FUCKING PEE OR HE WOULD FUCKING EXPLODE.**

That banana teacher must've had something against him because, the moment he stood up to go to the washroom, she suddenly barged in the room and forced him to sit down, calling him restless and disrespectful. Thus, he had to hold his urine the entire period and endure.

**ENDURE THE FUCKING ACIDIC PISS DAMMIT.**

She even scared the shit out of him, suddenly grabbing his arm when he was returning to his seat and making him almost wet his pants.

Finally finding it, he slammed open the washroom door, ran to one of the urinals, and proceeded to relieve himself.

"Heaven, this is heaven" He moaned, finally being lifted from his earlier torture.

"Oh, so this is where you ran off to..." Armin mumbled, finally being able to catch up to him. "Relieve yourself?"

"Yeah." Eren replied, zipping up his pants. "I had to hold it in for the whole class, thanks to that dick-tionana of a teacher." He grumbled, earning an amused smile from Armin.

"..dick-tionana?" His best friend deadpanned, attempting to copy the voice of the dick-tionana herself. "Very interesting, Mr. Jaeger."

"I know I'm interesting." Eren joked, turning his head to the side and noticing a blushing Mikasa looking at them in the mens' washroom. "Oh shit, Armin, don't look now, but my pervert sister's peeking on us."

"We're not exposing anything, you know. It's fine." Armin corrected, looking at Mikasa and smiling teasingly. "Although, Eren, she might be...imagining _something_ when she looks at you."

"Armin, I can hear you. Do you wish to live, or die?" Mikasa monotonously threatened, covering her reddening cheeks with her scarf. The blonde let out a soft yelp and raised his hands in the air. "Live. I wanna live."

"Speaking of live," Eren said, rubbing his stomach. "If I want to live, I gotta feed this baby." His stomach grumbled, making him grin crookedly at the two, who were wondering whether or not they should be disgusted of their precious Eren. "Listen! It's crying!"

Mikasa, after regaining her composure, nodded. "Yes, Eren, we must hurry and feed your baby!" She barged into the mens' washroom, to the two teens' surprise.

"WHAT THE HELL MIKAS-"

"ssssh, Eren." She punched his stomach and carried the unconscious him out of the washroom, ignoring the stunned onlookers, with a stunned Armin following. "Let's get you some sustenance."

"Uh, Mikasa, I think that's too much..." Armin whispered, noticing the large amount of attention it was gathering. Mikasa stopped walking and spun around to look him in the eye.

"ssssh, Armin."

BAM.

And with that, Mikasa was seen carrying two unconscious boys, one brunette and the other blonde, to the clinic.

.

"Eren."

Eren woke up to the smell of...baby food.

Wait.

What the duck? Baby food?

"Eren, here comes the train..." Mikasa muttered softly, violently stuffing a spoonful of disgusting, brown baby food into his mouth. (HOW DID SHE DO THAT?! HIS MOUTH WAS CLOSED, DUCKING CLOSED.)

"WHAT THE HELL, MIKASA?!" He yelled after swallowing his food properly. (2# Jaeger rule: Always swallow your food properly, no matter how horrible it tastes, unless it's poisonous and inedible.)

His mouth was brutally violated with baby food again.

Mikasa looked at him, her mouth curved slightly upward. "As you are feeding your baby, I am simply feeding my baby."

After swallowing properly again, he complained. "I'm not your baby, Mikasa! Where's Armin!"

"Hush, Eren, babies do not complain." Mikasa calmly replied, somehow violently stuffing his closed mouth again with baby food.

"Won't you even ask me if this tastes good?" Eren asked, once again, (sad to say) after swallowing properly.

The raven smiled at his question. "Okay. Eren, does this yummy baby food taste good?"

"No. It looks like shit and tastes like shit. Double whammy." He jokingly said.

Seeing the dark glint in her eyes that meant he and Armin might die, Eren smiled sheepishly at her. "No offense, Mikasa, it really does taste horrible. Try it yourself."

"...ok" She took a small portion of the shit, known as baby food, and placed it in her mouth, savoring the taste. "...It doesn't taste that bad...I made it myself..."

_Why the heck would Mikasa make baby food? _

"So where's Armin?" He asked.

"Eating in the cafeteria." She replied, tasting some more of her baby food.

"Really? Why didn't you let m-"

"No."

"Scuse me?"

"...that was a funny joke...Armin's not eating in the cafeteria..."

"...Ha...Ha...funny...yeah..." Eren gibbered, not knowing what else to react to his sister's abnormal (he means extremely far beyond normal as in the distance between stars kind of normal) sense of humor. (Yeah, he studied, thanks to her) "Hell yeah it's funny... It's so funny my laugh box broke...ha..."

"Eren." Mikasa called, squinting her eyes at him suspiciously. "If you say its funny, then why aren't you laughing...?"

Holy banana, she was sharp.

"Because, I told you, my laugh box broke."

She crossed her arms. "Not funn-"

"Hey, Mikasa, I bought more 1 dollar baby food from the cafeteria." Armin said, entering the clinic with a cardboard box in his arms. "Now please don't tell Annie I like her."

Eren gaped at him. "HOLY NANABA, YOU LIKE ANNIE?!"

"Holy Annie, you're awake?!" Armin shrieked, making a loud thud as he dropped the box.

"Holy Eren..." Mikasa mumbled, grabbing at the baby-food-filled box.

"Hey- what's with all the one dollar baby food? I thought you made these by yourself."

"It was...a joke."

"And why's the cafeteria here sell baby food? Is it like they expect us teens to come here with babies? Or is it that they expect a baby to be in high school?"

"...You're a baby." Mikasa pointed out, to Eren's irritation. "Now who's going to finish all of the baby food here?"

The brunette's face turned pale.

_No._

_Not me._

_Definitely not fucking me..._

"NOT ME, I'M NOT GOING TO EAT THAT SHIT AGAIN. I'M GONNA GO EAT SOME REAL FOOD." Eren yelled, jumping out of the clinic bed and running straight for the door. "SEE YOU TWO LATER."

"...If its for you, Eren, then I'd be willing to sacrifice my own stomach..." A blushing Mikasa mumbled, as the clinic door slammed shut.

**( BONUS- a bit of Armin's point of view)**

"Thank God..." Armin sighed, wiping his forehead of the sweat that formed. "I think he forgot about Annie..."

"...Armin?"

Noticing a dangerous glint in his friend's eyes, he back away to the door slowly. "Y-yes, Mikasa?"

"Kindly eat all this baby food..."

Knowing that resistance was futile if his opponent was the inhuman Mikasa, Armin decided to try and convince her not to feed him the gooey baby food. After all, he didn't have an iron stomach like her and his best friend, and what if the whole box of baby food that'd sell for just one dollar was toxic?

"But you said that you'd sacrifice your stomach for him!" He reasoned.

"When I said that, I meant transplant." She matter-of-a-factly replied, grabbing a jar and thrusting it into his hands. "So if Eren's stomach fails to function, I'd give him mine...Now eat up, Armin." She commanded.

Armin could only sob quietly, as he ate the baby food jar by jar, in the clinic, with a slave driver (Mikasa) ruthlessly watching.

Eren was right.

It definitely tasted like shit. (Even worse, to tell the truth)

He didn't think he was going to last long.

.

(Back to you-know-who!~)

Sighing, Eren could only pity Armin as he ate some of the somewhat legit, cafeteria-bought lunch.

Knowing Mikasa, who was strangely obsessed with babying him(for some reasons that he could never figure out), she would've fed all of the horrible tasting baby food to him; and there were about two large boxes of those stuff. Poor Armin might have to suffer from food poisoning for the third time this year. (the previous incidents were also caused by Mikasa telling him to mass buy ultra cheap food and because Eren didn't want to eat it, forced Armin to eat it instead.)

When it came to cooking, Mikasa was the best and the fastest chef ever, even better than his mom, Carla. So what was with her, ordering Armin to buy lots of ultra disgusting and unhealthy but cheap food for him?! It'd be way better off if she just cooked a simple, delicious lunch for him. (Why was he thinking of this, again?)

Come to think of it, that habit only started at the start of last summer vacation, when he joked her that he liked a lot of unhealthy, gooey stuff... (He couldn't help it, he loved soggy fries...especially with the creamy, salty cheese...oh yes...*foodgasms*)

Oh god...

How could he realize it just now...

SHE TOOK WHAT HE SAID SERIOUSLY.

SHIT.

SHIT.

HOLY NANABA BANANA.

IT WAS A JOKE.

A FUCKING JOKE.

WHY DID SHE TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY?!

NOW ARMIN WAS PROBABLY DYING BECAUSE OF HIM.

ON THE FIRST DAY OF HIGHSCHOOL.

SHIT.

POOR ARMIN.

WHAT A MAN.

Quickly finishing his lunch, Eren flung it into the trash can, barely missing it, and ran to the clinic, where the two of them still were.

Slamming the door open, he realized that he was far too late.

There was Armin, lying on the clinic bed, with diarrhea, and an extremely nauseous look on his face.

Holy Nanaba, how did he eat all that baby food...

Mikasa was nowhere to be see-

"Eren."

Oh, nevermind.

"About what I said last year, Mikasa, that was a joke." Eren pointed out, scratching the back of his head. "I thought you would know, I mean, you're not stupid..."

She became silent, but after a few minutes, spoke up. "...Eren, you're stupid. This is why I fell for it." She softly touched the scarf around her neck. "By the way, Eren, because you said that, then this will be called a joke."

"But Armin-"

"Armin is a victim of my joke. Do not worry, Eren, I am just training his stomach...so it will be nice and firm, like yours..." She started to blush.

_My stomach's nice and firm? But I don't remember stripping in front of her..._

"Hey, Mikasa, did I ever strip in front of you?"

"A-ah, uhm. N-no.. Joke...!" Mikasa suddenly turned bright red and punched the lights out of him.

.

Guess who joined Armin in the clinic for the whole day...

.

Author's note:

I'm sorry this is so short! I sort of suck when it comes to guy POVS and I wanted to make Mikasa's already!

Readers!

I need your help! Please tell me if Eren is okay... I promise I'll make it longer next time!

I accept constructive reviews! XD

BTW. I also made this chapter quite short so I can post some information here.

There are three divisions of the Student Council

1. The wings division. (A.k.a. Survey corps.) Levi, Erwin, Squad Levi, and Hange are part.

-focuses on competing with other schools, host clubs, competitions, and a lot of paper work for the teachers. (This is why they love Erwin.)

2. The rose division. (Garrison) unamed. Sorry!

- aids the wings division, dislikes paperwork, handles the sports obstacle courses.

3. The unicorn (lol) division. (Military police)

- corrupt, rich, arrogant, part of the student council that surveys the school for rule breakers, teachers exempted. (you win this round, Nanaba -banana-)

there are 4 famous schools with the same principal/ head

-Maria Kindergarten

-Rose Elementary

-Sina Highschool

-Wall College

One of Sina High's greatest rivals is Anis High. (Because I can think of any other legit name, that's why.) Get it? Sina, anis?

Even I have no idea why the Sina cafeteria's selling baby food. It is a mystery, we cannot solve...

TILL NEXT UPDATE!

BYE!

:)


	3. Beware, the Lawyer with a Horse face!

3: How did it result to this?

REPLIES.

**Anon! Thank you so much for reviewing! XD **

**I'm so flattered that you said it was like shingeki no chibi! **

**LOVE THOSE SPECIAL EPISODES. LOVE. THEM. SO. MUCH.**

**Guest! I LOVE YOU. ;-; ACTUALLY, the reason I didn't update for A while was only cause I was busy, also cause I was moping over the loss of one chapter I made. UUUHHUHU I lost one chapter... (I was so stupid to forget saving) AND THANK YOU FOR LOVING DE BANANA**

**Kurogami! You are a genius. ONE OF THE BEST IDEAS. I D K IF IM JUST OVER REACTING BUT THIS OPENS STUFF TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. GGGHHHHG. It's fine if i do it a bit differently, right? :0**

**THANKS SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING I LOVE YOU GUYS! TTvTT**

(oh, and a warning. feels are coming)

.

.

(-Mikasa-)

.

.

.

"Eren..." Mikasa softly mumbled, looking at her unconscious foster brother who was sprawled out randomly on the clinic bed. "Sorry for knocking you out, Eren,...I..just...couldn't control myself when you asked that question..."

She smiled slightly at him. "And I didn't know you were..._that_ bold..."

Eren snored back loudly in response.

"Maybe you can one day...strip in front of me?" Mikasa suddenly said, before she could catch herself. She turned beet red.

Hopefully, the sleeping Eren didn't hear that...

Still blushing madly, she shamefully hid her head under a pillow.

_Go away, dirty thoughts!_

_Your perverted ways disgust me!_

_Although..._

_Eren without a shirt..._

_With those hot abs..._

_._

_.._

_..._

_..._

_WAIT._

_NO._

___I mustn't be a pervert! _

_If I think too deeply about it, I might attack him for real!_

_Plus, I mustn't let my hopes up._

_ Eren only thinks of me as a sister. He will never think of me in any other way.. He's just so stupid._

_But the fact that he's extremely stupid and dense can never be changed...it will always remain a part of him..._

Eren sneezed between snores in his bed.

Mikasa smiled._  
_

_I find it cute though...how extremely dense he is..._

She uncovered her slightly pinkish face from the pillow and instead, rested her head on it, taking joy out of looking at Eren's cute/handsome/extremely attractive/hot/good-looking face as he slept.

After a few minutes of just plain staring, she decided to go to the next class, Relationships. (Was there ever such a subject with that name? What was with this high school?)

.

"...and you are?" A man wearing a white bandanna (is that what it was called?), supposedly the teacher, as he looked like an adult, asked.

Mikasa did the school salute. "Mikasa Ackerman, sir. I just came from the clinic to check on my two friends who recently got injured."

"By who?"

"...I don't know, sir." She lied.

After all, it just wouldn't do to tell him that she brutally tortured her childhood friend with baby food and almost gave her foster brother a concussion.

...It just wouldn't do.

"Okay then, uh Mikasa? Miskaa? Misaka?"

"Mikasa, sir." She interrupted, slightly irritated but nevertheless, nonchalant.

"Oh okay then," the teacher replied with a wink. He checked something in a piece of paper he was holding and smiled at her. "My name's Dita, Dita Ness. You can call me..." He did an extremely (corny) power rangers (Eren's favorite show before, not one bit impressive) pose. "BANDANNA MAN! EVERYONE, JOIN ME!"

Sasha and Connie sprang up their seats and ran next to him, pointing at the teacher (more like waving randomly at him). "BANDANNA MAAAAAAN! HE IS THE BEST HE'S THE... BANDANNA MAN!"

The three then started to do weird dance moves as they sang the bandanna man anthem (previously the power rangers) horribly, so horribly that it was laughable.

The whole class except for four people (a.k.a. her, a somewhat-familiar-person-even-if-she-never-met-him person, Annie, and Erwin the teacher whisperer...yeah, that's the nickname Connie gave him), laughed.

She stared at the three, equally unimpressed.

That was until Mr. Ness did a failed backflip and squashed Connie. The poor, semibald thing. Good thing that teacher wasn't overweight, or he'd be in the hospital.

She had to admit, she was quite impressed after that.

Since she didn't want to hurt their feelings, (especially Connie's as he was already hurt physically, tsk tsk, the poor little thing.) she gave them a small smile, then proceeded to sit on the nearest empty seat, which was beside the bored looking somewhat-familiar-person-even-if-she-never-met-him fellow (yeah, she repeated it again, sue her even though she's still a minor) and a blushing horse face.

"Hey, Mikasa, I uh didn't see you there." A lightly red-tinted Jean said, leaning back on his chair in an attempt to be casual.

The bored fellow beside her snorted at Jean and looked away, starting a conversation with a smiling, orange-haired girl, to her amusement.

He raised a brow at him. "What's his problem?"

"He's probably not impressed with your meager attempt to act casual." Mikasa straight-forwardly replied, eyeing him teasingly. She had to be friendly to him or he would poke fun at Eren again. (Armin had told her that)

Sad for the two, Jean didn't notice the playfulness hidden underneath her dark pupils and his face turned from shock, anger, realization, to embarrassment.

He looked at around timidly, suddenly finding interest in the black board, where an impressively disgusting and deformed drawing of Mr. Ness was. "O-oh, I didn't know that..."

She stared coldly at him, frustrated at why he didn't notice her being playful to him for once. "I was joking..."

"Oh..."

"Not really, what you said was right. I'm not impressed with his damn weird attempt to act casual. He sucks at it." The bored looking fellow nonchalantly interjected, staring at her, then at Jean.

Mikasa didn't know why, but she was starting to get irritated by this guy.

She glared at him. "Who are you?"

Although she had seen him in the other class, he didn't introduce himself yet.

He glared dangerously back at her with the same intensity. "Levi. Vice president of the Wings division."

She widened her eyes.

_No way...this little person? The Wings division? _

"Wings division? What's that? Bull shit." Jean side-commented angrily, quite enthusiastic and confident about being on her side.

Mikasa strongly elbowed him in the ribcage.

"OW."

"The Wings division is one of the divisions of the Student Council." Mikasa explained.

Levi huffed in approval and death-glared Jean. "This also means I can have your grades lowered for your own rudeness, so keep that filthy mouth of yours shut you piece of horse shit."

Something broke in Jean, she noticed.

She bit her lip.

Oh, this wasn't going to end good.

"Really..." Jean said, his face turning to a challenging smirk. "You think I actually care about my fucking grades?"

Mikasa internally face-palmed.

Yes, Jean did care about his grades, he had told her that before. He said he wanted to be a lawyer when he grew up. (After he said that, Eren gasped sarcastically in shock and asked why he wouldn't join his fellow horse men, making him yell back that he would sue him in the future. That Eren, he was so cute.)

So why was he committing suicide for his future?! The Student council really did have the power to destroy (deduct) a student's grades, and even worse, expel someone from the school.

Levi cocked his head to the right, raising a brow sarcastically. "So you're saying you want to be expelled as fast as possible?"

Jean squeaked, making Mikasa blink thoughtfully.

_Is this what they call, a burn?_

"Oooooooh," Someone commented, patting Levi's head and grinning. "That's gonna need some cold water. Don't be too hard on the freshies, Levi."

Levi slapped her hand away, turning back to glare at her. "Shut the fuck up, Hange."

"Hange- san's right," The orange -haired girl agreed, frowning concernedly at him. "Levi-senpai, you should also stop cursing."

"...ok."

(Author's note: Petra is one year younger than him, although they are on the same grade level, and i made her family line slightly Japanese so she says senpai and stuff~ compliments to Kurogami)

"HEY-" Before Jean was able to finish, Mikasa grabbed his hand and covered his mouth with it. He turned red, to her confusion. Nevertheless, she shook that off and shushed him.

"Leave it that way."

Jean looked at her with a reluctant, (Don't forget red, never forget it.)expression.

She eyed him dangerously."...Unless, you really don't care about your grades?"

"I do, Mikasa, I do." He quickly answered.

She nodded quietly, an awkward silence following.

Jean wasn't one bit helpful at all; he just sat there in his chair, trying to look casual but desperately failing, as his face looked extremely flustered.

Maybe it was because she was staring at him, hoping he would actually start a conversation with her.

Then the realization hit.

She was in class right now.

The logic of being in class is to study, or at least have order.

So why was it that everyone was, including the teacher, fooling around? The entire classroom looked like a marketplace, even worse than one, on her behalf. Papers and random litter were scattered on the floor, desks and chairs were misaligned, and the chalk on the board was not erased properly (as the impressively hideous drawing of the bandanna ma- still lay on the board.)

She quickly stood up from her seat, walking towards the goofing Mr. Ness. (How was he even hired to be a teacher?! Ms. Banan...Nanaba was way more legit than him)

"Sir, I have a question." She tapped his shoulder.

.

No reaction.

.

"Sir." She tried again, louder this time. " I have a question."

.

Still no reaction.

.

"...bandanna m-"

Mr. Ness suddenly turned his head towards her, so fast that she could hear a painful, loud crack. He didn't even flinch. He just looked at her hopefully.

"Yes, Mikasa?"

She looked at him disbelievingly.

What. The. Jaeger. Is. Wrong. With. This. Teacher. Can't. He. Feel. At. Least. One. Bit. Of. Pain.

"Oh, you're worried about my neck?" He asked, pointing at it with his index finger. "Not to worry! This happens a lot!"

She nodded slightly. "I have a question, Sir. Why is your class so different? When will you actually teach us something?"

He looked at her as if she was stupid.

Which she wasn't.

She was the valedictorian of her previous batch.

There was no way in Jaeger that she would be stupid.

She knew that.

"Our class is called relationships, aren't we building up relationships now?"

"How can you even grade relationships?" She asked.

He looked at her confidently. "I can."

"How?"

There was a long pause after that, and Mr. Ness looked like he was having quite a hard time scouring his mind for a legit answer.

"By how noisy the class is." He finally answered in-a-matter-of-a-fact-way.

She shook her head internally and sighed, nodding at the teacher that made no sense.

Returning to her seat beside Jean, she rested her head lazily on the table. So far, only the first two subjects, which were Math and Speech, made sense.

This subject didn't, on the other hand, and she didn't feel like she'd enjoy it. (It's not really enjoyable to have no one to chat with while the others are having fun...)

But maybe if Eren were here...and not in the clinic unconscious, maybe then she would enjoy this subject. She could imagine it, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, a whole hour just chatting with him and Armin.

The thought made her smile expectantly, a light blush soon forming on the top of her cheeks, making her cover half of her reddening face with her scarf in embarrassment.

Even though Eren lay unconscious in the clinic, she knew he was always somehow watching over her.

He was able to convince her not to dislike this class without lifting a single finger...that this class would be good for her.

. -side story-

She could remember it, that fateful day...

_It was a fire that somehow started in her family's house. She was just nine years old at the time, the firemen were caught in the traffic, and her parents had tried to stop the fire, but ended up being exploded on when the fire reached the gas canister in the kitchen. _

_She saw it with her own eyes, right in front of her, her loving parents being burned alive, crying out to her to run away, but she was too swallowed in fear and grief to run._

_ She had soon loss the will to live, and lay down on the floor weakly, wishing for herself to die already so she could meet her parents on the other side._

_Then the burning door suddenly burst open, and a screaming and crying Eren armed with a small garden hose ran into the house, hosing down all of the fires nearing her and dragging her half-dead but conscious body outside. _

_It was impossible for someone her age to do such an amazing feat; but Eren did it._

_That same day, when she was lying on the hospital bed after being brought to the E.R. for treatment, he visited her again._

_Without words, nor emotions in her heart, as she was emotionally scarred, she stared at him blankly, wishing he never saved her._

_Where would she go?_

_What could she do?_

_Who would be her family? _

_Who would love her, take care of her, kiss her goodnight, tuck her in bed, cook her a yummy breakfast?_

_Who?!_

_A large surge of grief suddenly emerged, slamming her coldly in the face, causing her to sob uncontrollably, memories of her mother and father's tenderness towards her flashing in her mind._

_She couldn't control it. She missed them so much._

_The world was cruel. It was so harsh. It killed her parents and left her to survive on her own._

_It was cold._

_It was so cold._

_"It's so cold." She muttered between sobs. Eren stayed quiet, watching her silently as she sobbed her heart out._

_A soft, long scarf was suddenly placed around her neck, making her feel at least, a bit, at ease._

_"I-it's cold right? You can, uh, have it if you want.." He muttered, looking into her eyes the looking away. "You can live with us. Dad arranged it already. You don't have to change your last name though."_

_She looked at him disbelievingly, her chain of sobs stopping for a moment. _

_He under...stood her?_

_"You should stop crying, you know, I-it doesn't make me feel good to see a girl cry.."_

_._

_From that day on, she decided she had another goal in life._

_Protecting Eren._

_._

**Author's note!**

**I'm so sorry if my idea of Mikasa's past sucks! ;-; I love it though..**

**I cried while typing it...**

**I'm also sorry I didn't update in a while...i was depressed since I lost this chapter and had to retye it! but you guys put me back on track! XD Thankeeeeessss**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS.**

**Btw, i kind of have a poll question set up, if you guys can just read it. :_: Please do! and answer!**

**I also have some P.O.V. thingys..**

**these are the characters with Point of views.**

**Hange, Eren, Mikasa, Jean, Petra.**

**Levi and the rest might be a bonus or so~ XD**

**IM SO SORRY IF YOU HAD SOME FEELS ;.; IM FEELING SO FEELY TOO**

**THE BONUS STORY WAS FOR YOU GUYS TOO! I LOVE YOUUU**


	4. NEIGHENIEHGNEIGH

4:

**Hey again~ I did (i think) say i was going to update faster so here it is! :) I hope you enjoy!**

**please tell me if Jean's fine! I promise I'll make him better!**

**Btw I might not be able to write much chapter in a while again... **

**some family things happened and..**

**;-; yeah...**

**I'll just uh, ...**

**Sorry for failing on Mikasa too...I just...;-; BREAD DAMMIT. BREAD IS MY REPLY. ;-;**

**Kurogami: Hello! there's no problem in me liking the idea! :) And its not stupid! D:I liked it a lot! really!  
**

**.**

**.**

**.**

-(Jean the horse whisperer)-

.

.

.

Groaning loudly in exhaustion, Jean ran into his room and flung himself on his bed, Marco, his best friend, slowly following from behind.

It was just the first day of school and he was already fucking exhausted.

The only worthwhile subject was Speech and Relationships, since he was able to show off in front of Mikasa, and Eren completely embarrassed himself. (HA BEAT THE FUCKING THAT JAEGER. HA)

Still, he had to admit, he kind of chickened out when she stared at him for about, five minutes, and he didn't even know why she was doing that. Maybe she was...observing his facial features? His cheeks flushed a bit.

**No.**

**NO CHEEKS NO.**

**DON'T YOU DARE TURN RED ON ME NOW.**

**IF MARCO SEES THIS HE'LL TEASE ME ABOUT IT ALL DAY. **

**OR EVEN WORSE**

**HE'LL FUCKING TELL MIKASA I LIKE HER.**

**WAIT NO**

**HE'S FRECKLED JESUS. THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL HE'D DO THAT.**

**STILL, BLUSHING IS NOT MANLY.**

**CHEEKS STOP TURNING RED DAMMIT.**

He quickly covered his face with his hands, feigning a series of coughs.

Marco looked at him, concern lining his features. "You, okay, Jean? You're coughing hard and your face is all red."

Waving his hand in dismissal once his 'coughing spree' was over, he walked over to his set of video games. "Yeah man, I'm good. Just choked on my saliva." He grabbed one of the gaming consoles, motioning for Marco to sit down beside him. "So, Call of Duty? Counter Strike? Or extremely low quality but fun as shit old games?"

Marco smiled, raising a brow thoughtfully. "Extremely low quality but fun as poop old games? Sounds good." He sat down beside him, grabbing a controller.

Jean grinned and grabbed the other controller, stuffing the console inside the cartridge.

The monitor blinked for a moment and an _extremely high definition_ game was started.

Cue the dramatic technical music...

Pacman!

He laughed mentally at his own sarcasm.

"So listen, Marco, I'm player one, you're player two. Eat the ghosts when you eat the power berry."

Marco stayed silent and nodded, his face still bright and smiling as always.

.

_Holy shit he's good._

_._

_H-How does he even do that?!_

_'_

_My fucking Pacman keeps dying!_

_._

_It's like all of the fucking ghosts are chasing me! Not him! _

_._

_What the hell?!_

_._

_How did he eat the damn ghost without a power berry!_

_._

_Fuck this shit._

_._

_Damn it. I know I'm an excellent player. I know it.  
_

_._

_T-this game is cheating._

_._

Having enough of Pacman and infuriated that he had a talent for dying every few seconds he respawned (which was about a thousand times, he should be credited in the Guiness World records), he dropped the controller onto the floor and decided to watch Marco cheerfully violate the ghosts.

"How are you even good at this?" He complained, as his freckled best friend won another level.

Marco wasn't always this good in gaming, if he could remember.

He shrugged.

Maybe Marco played this game a lot when he was young.

The whole screen suddenly blacked out, revealing large words that said, 'You win.'

"Yes!" Marco cheered, raising his arms in the air happily. He laughed. "This was my first time playing this, Jean! I feel so lucky!"

Jean literally cracked.

"You were really good in playing too! I mean, you're score's so high! 10,000! Wow!" Marco cheered, dropping the controller, it's fall making a hard thump on the floor.

Jean cracked even more.

His mere 10,000 couldn't even compare to Marco's 999,999,999!

Why in the fucking fuckers of the fucks was Marco so impressed?!

His Iphone started to buzz, loudly playing a dubstep of a horse neighing.

_"Neigh- nuh- neighah- oh, oh, oh, mooooo! Neighaaaaaaaa Neighaooooooo nieghahahah~ Neigh NUH neigh neigh-"_

He immediately knew who the culprit was.

** Connie.**

**Fucking.**

**Springer.**

(Kirchstein- 0 Springer- 1)

_"Neigh- nuh- neighah- oh, oh, oh, mooooo! Neighaaaaaaaa Neighaooooooo nieghahahah~ Neigh NUH neigh neigh-"_

Pissed off, he snagged the neighing phone out of his pocket and answered it.

"Did you like the ring tone personally made by yours truly?" Connie asked, trying to imitate an Italian accent for the reason of god knows why.

By the tone of his fucking irritating voice, Jean could tell he was grinning. He could also hear Sasha snickering in the background. Those two were damn partners in crime all right.

They should just hurry up, get married, and have some fucking kids or something.

He cringed, dismissing his previous thought. There was no way in hell he could survive with a ton of those two's copies bugging him.

"What the hell, Springer?!" He yelled at the phone, making Connie yell back.

"OW. Are you trying to destroy my fucking eardrums?! OW. Shit."

Jean smirked. "Yeah. You deserved it."

"No I didn't! I really liked my masterpiece! It fits you so well-"

He rolled his eyes, suddenly smirking again when he thought of an idea. "Why not I make a dubstep of the Avatar! It will fit you so fucking well."

Marco laughed in the sidelines.

Connie gulped.

Jean grinned.

This was his victory.

"Sure! Connie'd love that!" Sasha said in the line, stealing the Avatar's phone and earning a 'H-hey No!' from him.

Jean grinned again. "Aww, you two love birds are so sweet.." He teased in a girlish, sappy tone.

Two loud gasps could be heard.

"Uh, hey, look! Chhhhhhch. The signal's weakening! Chhhhhhhchhch. Oh no! Chchhhchchhc. I think we have to hang up! Chhhhchchhchch. Byeeee..."

"Bye, love birds! Don't do naughty stuff yet~" Before they could protest, he quickly hung up, smiling evilly.

(Kirchstein- 1 Springer- 1)

Surprisingly, the moment he placed his phone back in his pocket, it suddenly rang again, neighing loudly at him.

_"Neigh- nuh- neighah- oh, oh, oh, mooooo! Neighaaaaaaaa Neighaooooooo nieghahahah~ Neigh NUH neigh neigh-"_

He flinched and took it again, looking at who the caller was before answering.

He blushed.

_Mikasa Ackerman._

He quickly tapped answer.

"Uh, h-hello? Mikasa? It's nice to see you."

Holy shit he was a wuss when it came to her.

He could almost punch himself.

A long silence could be heard before she spoke. "Do you," he heard a hesitant sigh. "want to go some where with me?"

...

...

...

Was.

...

...

...

He.

...

...

...

Dead?

...

...

...

A dinner, alone, with her?

"Hello? Are you there?" Mikasa inquired, snapping him out of his daze.

"Yeah, Sure I'll go. To where?"

"...McDonalds. Go to the Jaeger's when you're ready. Everyone's waiting."

Oh. Not alone...

Then she hung up, leaving him a blushing mess.

This school year's start was so. damn. good.

He didn't care if the others were going. At least Mikasa would be there and he would/might have a chance.

Marco's phone suddenly rang, startling the hell out of him.

.

"Oh, yup! I'll be there too! Thanks!" Marco chirped, quickly hanging up and looking at him. "Uh, I think I have to leave now, gotta go to the Jaeger's. To the McDonalds. You were invited, right? I think, by Mikasa?" He quickly said, facing away from him and leaving through the door. "See you there!"

Was it just him, or did Marco just seem kinda...off.

Come to think of it, he looked paler than a while ago...

Maybe it was just him.

He made a mental note to ask his best friend about that later.

.

Holding back an excited sigh, he stopped at the Jaeger's door.

Sure, he didn't like Eren much, and he didn't even know why, he just hated that guy's guts...and also the fact that he kept sticking close to Mikasa.

But maybe, just maybe, for Mikasa's sake, he would try to get along with him today.

He knocked on the door lightly and stepped back, only to bump into someone.

Jean instantly felt pissed off as hell.

"WHAT THE FUCK, JEAN?!"

"WHAT THE FUCK, EREN?!"

The door opened, revealing Mikasa. "Oh, Eren, you're back...~"

The two looked at each other, then looked at her.

"WHAT THE FUCK, MIKASA?!" Eren yelled, grabbing him by the collar. Jean did the same, and the two were soon strangling each other.

Mikasa didn't budge. "Eren, I invited Jean so you two can get along. Now, get along." Her silver eyes turned threateningly dark, making the two shiver. "This is good for you, Eren." Her eyes flared again. "Unless you want me to..."

Eren and Jean released their grasp of each other at the same time, the two both sighing.

"Yeah, sure, fine. I don't want the shit to be beaten out of me again." He shuddered. "And the baby food. Shit." He made a crumply-and-disgusting-as-hell face. "That shit tasted like shit. Or even wors-"

"The cafeteria was selling one whole box for a dollar. How could I not resist?" Mikasa interrupted, her face turning slightly red. "...and that was a joke..."

Jean was starting to get horrified at Eren's expression. "Dude, your face. You're starting to look even worse than Daz. You look...ghhhg."

Eren scowled. "Shut up, Horse face, my face's like this because what I fucking experienced this afternoon was so...' His face crumpled even more, until it was unrecognizable.

"Ew. Dude, how can you even do that?!"

"I said shut up."

"Eren. Stop." Mikasa ordered coldly, grabbing the said teen's crumpling face and dragging him into the house with it.

"OW MIKASA MY NECK OW."

"Punishment for embarrassing me."

"What?! So you're trying to kill me for embarrassing you?!"

"...It's a joke."

Jean choked down a laugh.

Oh, Eren was gonna get it.

He was so gonna get it-

"Jean," Mikasa's voice was loud, clear, and damn scary. "You get in too. If you don't, flies might enter and..."

With a loud yelp and a nod, he ran into the house obediently.

.

"I wanna order ten large burgers, ten servings of fries, and a LARGE SUNDAE. I REALLY WANT TO." Sasha yelled, her face overcome with intense hunger. She turned to Jean, who was entering the living room quietly, looking for Marco. "Hey Jean! Why the long face?." She giggled, amused by her own pun.

"Hey Katara? How many children with the Avatar?" Jean teased back, pleased with himself when he saw her reaction was what he had expected. Sasha's face was flustered beyond compare, and she grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at him.

"N-No!"

Ymir grinned teasingly at Sasha, taking her arm off Krista for a moment. "Well, lookie here, another lovely couple! And with the baldy of the class. I'll have to say, Sasha, I'm impressed!"

Sasha turned even redder. "Shut up! I'm not with him at all!" she hugged a pillow. "At least...not yet, that is..."

Krista frowned concernedly. "But why won't you confess, Sasha? I don't like it that you hurt yourself...him being oblivious and all...you've liked him for almost three years now! It must hurt a lot..."

Jean continued standing there, listening to the girls' conversation. It was surprising that none of them actually cared that a guy was standing right in front of them, while they were having girl talk.

Ymir's eyes turned all heart-like (which creeped the hell out of Jean, as that was not fucking possible) and she hugged the poor blonde. "AWWWW! That's my angel! This is why I love her so much!"

No offense to Ymir, but Jean thought she was kinda fuckin' creepy.

How possessive she was towards Krista; and her lack of personal space.

Not one bit girly.

She was manlier than him, if he was forced to admit it.

Sasha's eyes glinted. "Yeah, Krista here's really an angel! She u-understands me!"

Jean rolled his eyes. Girl talk was amazingly interesting and boring at the same time.

Deciding he had quite enough of eavesdropping, as the subject about Connie was finished and they were just being sappy and sympathizing with each other, he exited the living room in search for Marco.

.

"Marco?" Connie asked, chugging down a glass of soft drink. "I think he said he was just gonna meet us in McDonalds."

"Oh." Jean muttered disappointedly. "Okay."

"Cheer up, man! I even gave you a specially created ring tone! Now it sounds like you!" He grinned, taking another sip of his soft drink.

Jean scoffed. "Yeah. I love being neighed on every single fucking time my phone rings." He replied sarcastically.

Connie choked on his soft drink, imagining something that only he and some mind reader like maybe Jean Gray from X-Men knew, and started laughing manically.

Jean snorted, making Connie laugh even harder that he was starting to cry.

"OH MY FUGLING GOD YOU SOUND LIKE A SNORTING HORSE. THIS IS SO COOL."

"Pfft."

(Kirchstein- 1 Springer- 2)

.

"So, what do you guys want?" Mikasa asked, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen from her pocket. "Eren first."

"Just a Big Mac and fries." he replied, massaging the back of his neck. "Damn, Mikasa, thanks to you, I think I have a stiff neck."

Ignoring Eren's statement and scribbling stuff on her paper, Mikasa turned to Armin. "You?"

"...Just fries? I can't eat much, since I just got...diarrhea...?" He rubbed his stomach, smiling frightfully at her.

Jean raised a brow. Just what happened to Armin?

"Okay. All done. You all will have the same meal as Eren's." She swiftly turned back and walked to the cashier, before anyone could protest.

"W-wait, what? So we'll all be having the same thing?!" Sasha complained, looking at Eren with betrayal written all over her face. "Why didn't you order ten of those burgers, ten servings of fries, and a large fudge sundae!?"

"Only you can eat that much, Sasha! And I didn't know Mikasa'd do that!"

Her amber eyes drooped, looking down on the ground. "Well, you could always just give me all your left overs..."

Eren groaned and banged his head on the table. "UUUGGGGH. MIKASA. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN THINKING."

"I'm okay with it." Jean mumbled.

"Yeah, me too I guess." Marco added cheerfully.

He eyed Marco worriedly. He still looked paler than the usual. Did something happen? Was he sick?

"I like Big Macs!" Krista noted, smiling cheerfully along with Marco. Ymir grinned.

"Well, if my angel's okay with it, then I guess I'm good too."

Everyone looked at Connie expectantly.

He raised in arms in the air. "He-hey, don't look at me, I'm with Sasha in this."

Jean let out a low whistle.

"Woo, go Aang, I believe in you!" Krista innocently said, pumping her fists.

Jean could've sworn he saw a freaking halo on the top of her head. He also could've sworn Krista was suddenly so fucking cute that he had to bite back his aaaws.

Ymir hugged the angelic blonde shamelessly, her face extremely playful. "Awwwwwwwww so cuuuuuttteeeee Ymir wuvs you soooooo~."

Everyone looked on sadly as poor Krista's private space was violated again by Ymir.

.

Mikasa returned shortly with the food.

"Here. Eat. It's good for you, Eren." She placed his serving of food in front of him, taking a seat on his side.

"Wow, no kidding..." Connie said teasingly as he eagerly took his own share of junk food. "Mikasa, you have a talent for stating the obvious!" He exclaimed, placing a fry in his mouth.

"...thank you." She replied, taking one of Eren's fries and biting half of it, then chewing slowly.

"Mikasa, where's your share of food?"

"I don't have one." She finished the fry. "I'm sharing with you...Eren"

"...Mikasa, do you think I, a growing boy who needs vitamins and minerals to grow, can share the source of these said substences with you?" Eren asked, unwilling to share his food. Jean pffted. Eren was trying to outsmart the valedictorian, who was FAR beyond smarter than him, in their batch?

"You said substances wrong; and this is junk food. Junk food does not contain the sufficient vitamins and minerals for a growing boy like you."

"Oh."

"Eren Jaeger. You have just officially embarrassed yourself in front of everyone on this table by questioning the valedictorian of our batch's authority. I praise thee." Connie joked, doing the school's salute.

He turned red form embarrassment. "Shut up."

Jean suddenly felt a soft poke from Marco.

"Hah?"

"Jean, you should eat... The food's getting cold." Marco mumbled, his face turning slightly red.

"Ah, sure." He uncovered the burger and started to devour it, thankful that Marco reminded him to eat.

God, these things tasted heavenly.

.

Once he was finished eating everything, Marco suddenly stood up.

"Sorry guys, I-I'm not feeling so well..." He mumbled, in a daze. Jean noticed his face was paler than before, and that he was shivering. He instantly felt a pang of worry overcome him. "I-I'll be g-going...now."

Jean stood up. "Me too. I think my mom might be worried." he lied. "Plus, Marco needs some help."

Everyone nodded.

"I hope you'll feel better!" Krista said. "I really do hope for it!"

Marco smiled weakly. "Thanks Krista..."

.

A/N

TT^TT I'm so sorry if it's not That funny!

#authorinsecurities

I'm going through a phase...im kinda sad...

;-;

i cant help but have some of my funnies extinguished...

Gomenasai...

Please tell me if it's still okay though! And if I portrayed Jean well!

and by the way, I'll need you guys help in something! Please tell me who your favorite ships are, like maybe Riren? Eremika? Jeankasa? Petra and Levi?

PLEASE PUT YOUR VOTES. ;-; I CANT DECIIIDE


	5. The not-so-normal life of Hange Zoe

A/N.

I forgot to say this.

I DO NOT OWN SNK ISAYAMA DOES. AND HES SO EPIC.

AND THIS CHAPTER IS SO FUCKED UP IM SORRY.

WELL, ITS HANGE's POV AND I LOVE HER,

All done~! :)

Kurogami! Thank you so muchies! :) I feel like my funnies, might, just might be back! ( lol maybe )

AND THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR FAVS.

.

.

.

-(Hange)-

.

.

.

"...Gardening." Hange deadpanned, looking at the tall blonde before her incredulously.

There was no way (NO WAY) in hell she would enjoy staring at pansies, grow some banana trees, and cultivate crops or some flowers.

"Erwin, you know I'd rather kiss Levi's ass than garden," she reasoned, giving him a lousy smile. "Plus, I'm a black thumb."

He stared at her, his stony expression unfaltering.

"I don't see why no-."

Levi stood up loudly, glaring at them, a scowl on his face.

The brunette smiled innocently at him.

"Yes, Levi?"

"Why the fuck are you two bickering about my ass?"

"Because your ass is so beautiful, plump, white, and creamy that even I, can't kiss it." She replied, smiling at him ever-so-honestly.

The raven made a disgusted scoff. "...you retarded perverted glasses."

"No problem, Cinderella~" She winked.

"To fucking hell with you and your stupid-as-shit nicknames." He rolled his eyes and turned to Petra, who was observing their conversation amusedly. "C'mon Petra, lets get out of this retarded shit's range."

"O-okay, sempai."

"To hell with that formality too." He muttered, taking the orange-haired teen by the hand and leading her out of the meeting room. (To Hange's joy) "Just call me Levi."

"Eeeeeeeey~ YOU TWO SHOULD JUST KISS AND MAKE MEH SUM BEAUTIFUL BEBEHS ALREADY." She cooed.

Oh wait.

"THEN AGAIN, IF LEVI'S THE DAD, THE BABIES WON'T BE BEAUTIFUL. THEY BECOME GRUMPY SHITs-"

"FUCK OFF!"

A large Auruo was flung at her, making her flinch.

She raised her arms in surrender.

"Fine, fine, just chill Elsa. Hey, you see what I did there? You know, chill, Elsa?"

The door slammed shut.

.

Erwin let out an awkward cough, gaining her attention.

"...about joining my gardening club?"

She shook her head blatantly, feeling a sudden shiver in her spine upon noticing an ominous glint appear on his eyes.

"u-uh...Erwin?"

"I'm afraid...I'll have to black mail you then."

The tall blonde leaned down to a locked drawer in his desk and opened it, a loud snarl escaping the dark corners of the drawer. He reached his hand inside it and pulled out a...

...

...

What the bean was that thing?

...Was that an overweight Venus flytrap?

**HOW WAS OBESITY EVEN ABLE TO AFFECT IT?!**

**WHAT THE HELL?!**

**HOW WAS THAT POSSIBLE,**

**WHAT THE HELL DID STONY FACE EVEN DO TO THE POOR THING?!**

**I'M SO SORRY FOR YOU, YOU FAT FLYTRAP.**

Erwin stared at her for a moment, and sighed, shaking his head.

"...it's not an overweight Venus flytrap, Hange."

"Then what is it?"

He smiled sinisterly, his face starting to not look like himself at all. (Maybe a bit more like Auruo's? Were they even related?) "I genetically engineered it. The first of its kind, the eyebrowicus carnivoreas. It's a plant that eats meat. Any kind of meat."

"Erwin." She grinned at him, temporarily forgetting that she was creeped out. "I never knew you were so shitty in naming things~"

"This plant can eat your precious Sonny and Bean-"

"OH HELL NO."

He smirked victoriously. "So you're saying that you'll join the club?"

"NO."

"Sonny and Bean love you, don't they?"

"YES. BUT STILL NO."

"Well, Browie here would love to visit your house to have a little snack sometime."

"NO- WELL FINE. I JOIN YOUR STUPID CLUB."

His abnormal expression turned stoic again, and he returned the plant back inside the drawer.

"Good. Now sign here." He pointed at a small line on the piece of the registration paper, handing her a sign pen.

Hange nodded reluctantly and did as she was told.

"...will you join my baking club, then?" She asked, slightly glum.

She hated gardening, but she did enjoy 'experimenting' on pastries...and chemicals...and huma-animals...

"I don't see why not." he chuckled.

.

Her day was made.

.

On her way home, since the meeting ended, she spotted someone being pushed into the ambulance.

He he looked somewhat familiar.

The freckled freshie?

Whose name was, Marco?

"MARCO! S-stay with me man, you'll be o-ok." Jean assured, holding the half conscious boy's hand, stuttering a bit, thanks to his panic, and stepping into the ambulance.

Hange ran up to one of the para-medics, who was messily jotting some notes down, her eyes questioning. "What happened?"

"The freckles over there suffered a stroke, and he can only move half his body. At least, that's what we think."

"Did you use the portable x-ray?"

"We did. It has the same effects of a stroke, but blood is still being supplied to his limbs. Its unusual, it's like...only his motor nerves are down. Everything's still functional...his heart, organs, everything. He just can't move his skeletal muscles...?" The medic gibbered, slightly confused herself, and squinting her eyes at her notes.

"So it's a new case?"

"I guess so. He has about, a 99.9% chance of survival, in my opinion."

"Why not 100%?" She furrowed her brows.

"It might get worse." The medic stated, running off to the car door, notebook in hand. "That's all I can infer, I gotta go now."

Hange could do nothing but watch as the ambulance drove away, sirens blaring loud as ever.

Poor freshie...

She continued her way home, her mood slightly dampening.

She hoped he would get better...

.

Literally waltzing into the house, she dropped her knapsack onto the couch and waltzed into the kitchen, looking for her Sonny, who was usually inside the kitchen trying to look for rats to eat.

Not that her house was messy.

Only her room was.

Unlike her, Hange's parents were similar to Levi when it came to cleanliness, being very critical when it came to the neatness and the organization of the house. They loved cleaning. Cleaning was their hobby.

They loved cleaning her room.

They praised her for messing her room because they loved to clean it.

This was also why they allowed Sonny and Bean to roam free in the house too, because cleaning their shit was one of their favorite things to do.

She could easily and proudly say that her parents were eccentric, just like her.

"Sonny~ Are you there?" She cooed, looking around the kitchen.

A small hiss could be heard from the cupboard.

"There you are!" She opened the cupboard and carefully plucked the creature out, her eyes shining as she saw it had a large lump in its slender body. "Good reptile~ you finally found the one who's been stealing all our fruits!"

Sonny hissed in reply, wrapping its body loosely around her neck like a scarf.

"Did Sawney poop yet?" Her mom yelled from the upper floor, a muffled thud of cushiony slippers being heard from her running down the stairs. "It's my turn to clean~"

"Uh, no, still, digesting?" She yelled back, strolling to the end of the staircase, waiting for her mother. "It's okay that I joined the gardening club, right?"

Her mom smiled, eyeing the snake coiled around her neck and shoulders. "Sure, honey, just make sure to come back home at around 8:00, your curfew." her smile turned into a crazed grin, very much similar to her owns.

"So, when's this reptile gonna shit?"

She returned the crazed grin with another one of her signature crazed grins. "He just ate a large rat. It'll take about one more day before he shits."

Her mom frowned. "Shame." She shuffled to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. "Are you hungry? I could cook up something for you. Your father and I just ate."

Hange shook her head, still grinning. "No thanks, mom. I'll be in my room if you need me!" She grabbed her bag from he couch and ran up the stairs.

"Tell me if Sonny shits!"

"SURE."

She reached the end and breathlessly slipped into her room, Sonny uncoiling himself from her and slithering towards cute little Bean, who was sleeping inside his shell.

"Beanie?" Poking the shell, she frowned when the little turtle inside stretched it's head out and bit her finger, HARD, before hiding its head again.

"I guess its hard for you to express yourself, eh? I'm sure you're going through puberty~"

Knock, Knock.

"H-Hange?"

_Oh._

_Him~ _

_My assistant~_

The brunette cheerfully flung the door open and grabbed the visitor's collar, pulling him inside the room.

Moblit let out a yelp.

She smiled at him. "So, what do you need?"

"Please, d-download the latest album of Miley Cyprus..."

Hange furrowed her brows and released her grip on his collar, scanning her memories for that name.

"...The fuck is a Miley Cyprus? Is that a...like, a singer? Or a tree?"

Moblit went on his knees, small beads of tears forming on his eyes. "Please download Bangarz for me! My wifi's so slow!" He started to sob quietly. "I need her album! I NEED IT. Or else!-"

"Or else what?"

"My life will be over!" He cried.

"I have Eu de Bean oilè...maybe that can restart your life because it smells good."

"Please download it! I'll be your assistant for a week, a month, I don't care!" He reasoned out, sobbing even more. "Even a year! Please just- I NEED BANGARZ."

Giggling, the eccentric grabbed her IPhone and turned it on, tapping the ITunes Store. "Is that so? Well, I don't see why not then~ Bangarz? What a queer, queer name~"

"It's not queer! It's just Cyprus!"

"Done. Now I'll send it to you via bluetooth~" She sang the end of the line, happy to have his time being her assistant renewed.

Moblit took out his smart phone and began to play one of the songs, '_We are unable to cease_'.

.

Hange suddenly regretted downloading it.

.

"GOD DAMMIT, MOBLIT, PLEASE STOP. MY EARS ARE FUCKING BLEEDING." Hange yelled, tossing her precious Bean at him.

Bean's shell smacked him on the face brutally, but for some reason, Moblit was too obsessed (possessed) to even care (more or less, notice). The small turtle landed safely all-fours on the floor, frantically scurrying away from the possessed Cyprus addict.

Unlike other turtles, cute, tiny Bean was an incredibly abnormal one, being able to perform tricks like back flipping, jumping, and other whatnot thanks to her genetic engineering~

In all honesty, she was trying to make a turtle titan...which was not logically possible, but she still wanted to try. (No one could blame her, since she was high on caffeine that time.) Her experiment failed, creating an acrobatic turtle instead.

BUT SHE STILL LOVED HER BABBY.

"My poor Bean, sorry I threw you at Moblit! I just wanted him to stop playing the infernal music!" She apologized, lifting the small turtle up from the floor and kissing its shell. "It didn't work, though.."

"LALADEELADEEMOVINGOURBODIESFRANTICALLYWITHCYPRUS~"

"Moblit, kindly get the fuck out~" She cooed, grabbing him by the collar again, butting him outside her room.

"ANDWEAREUNABLETOCEASEANDWEHAVENOWILLTOCEASE~" Her assistant sang loudly, his voice somehow managing to burst through her door, racking her eardrums.

Suddenly, it hit her.

What if she brought him to Levi's house?

Interesting.

"AND WE'RE UNABLE TO CEAAAASE." She yelled, playing the same song in her phone.

In the manner that the pied piper would be proud of, she marched out of the house, leading Moblit to Levi's direction.

.

"Leviiiiiii~" She knocked (a.k.a. Violently banged her fists) on his door, yelling.

A small patter of foots steps could be heard, including groans. Levi opened the door slightly, scowling at her.

"What do you want, shitty glasses?"

"Nothing~" she grabbed Moblit's smart phone from his grasp and threw it inside Levi's house, laughing loudly. "Just a little prank!"

"NOOOOOO MYE BANGARZ!" The blonde yelled, somehow managing to enter the house. He grabbed the phone and started to play the same song again, singing along to it rambociously.

Levi's right eye twitched with extreme irritation.

"NOT THIS FUCKING STUPID SONG AGAIN FUCK YOU ZOE!"

She stuck a tongue out at him and waved. "I'm leaving him to your caaaare~ See you tomorrow!" She started to jog casually back to her house.

"YOU FUCKING GLASSES COME BACK HERE!"

"NO WAY. IM GONNA GET SOME SLEEP, HAVE FUN WITH CYPRUS~ HE WONT TWORK, IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH." She yelled back, laughing maniacally.

.

"Honey, did Sawney shit yet?"

.

"Oh god, ew. He did, although its kinda early...It's diarrhea...maybe it was too big for him?"

.

"Go to sleep, you have classes tommorow~ In the meantime, I'll take my time and enjoy cleaning this watery shit~"

.

"Moblit also made a big mess, by the way."

.

"I know, this is why I love that boy. I'll call your dad to help me clean this~"

.

"Night~"

A/N

Okay, so I don't know why I did this, I know its shitty, since its so...not normal. ;-;

just to make things clear

I parodied Miley so it would be legit, I hope it's okay with you readers if you like her

and MOBLIT is OBVIOUSLY a crazy fan for her. Other than that, he's normal. I just enjoy giving Erwin and him a crazy side~

IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN A WHILE. JUST REMEBER THIS. I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON THIS STORY. NEVER. NEVAAAR.


End file.
